So, being the proactive, leave-nothing-to-chance, project manager I am…I research Round Table online to predetermine which Round Table is familiar with delivering pizza to my son’s school.

Round Table’s web site has a store locator and map. I find two Round Table restaurants within two miles of my son’s school. The University Avenue location looks slightly closer so I call there. Nope, I’m told. We don’t serve that location. You need to call our Menlo Park location.

No prob. So I call the Menlo Park location. Nope, I’m told. You need to call our University Avenue location.

I ask to speak with a Manager. Relieved, and confident I will finally get this simple question addressed, I give the Manager the address of my son’s school. She can’t find the address. “Give me the phone number,” the Manager says. “That’s the way we determine if a place is in our service area.” I give the Manager the number.

“That number is not in our service area,” the Manager says. “Are you sure,” I ask. “It’s near the Stanford campus?’

Confused buy trying to be helpful the Manager asks, “Do you have another number for the hospital?”

“It’s not a hospital; it’s a school!” I respond.

In all fairness the Manager is willing to research the question further. By now, however, I could have baked the pizza myself. I have lost both confidence and patience.

I call the school’s receptionist. “Ebony, thank goodness. Which Round Table pizza location delivers to the school?”

“University Avenue,” she responds.” Call this number and tell them to deliver to me at the front desk.

I call Ebony a goddess and thank her profusely. I call said number and get the same polite but clue-less response. “May I speak to a Manager, please,” I ask—confident that victory is just seconds away. A different polite voice comes on the line. “Are you a Manager,” I ask. “Yes,” he says. I explain my situation. And then all becomes clear. Not yet solved, but clear.

Turns out Mr. Polite Manager is indeed a Manager. And he, like his predecessors, cannot determine whether my son’s school is in the University Avenue delivery area. BUT Mr. Polite Manager is NOT the manager of the University Avenue Round Table pizza location. He is the manager of a CALL CENTER. He has no idea where University Avenue is, where Menlo Park is or where my son’s school is.

Mr. Polite Manager takes my number. Says he’ll research my question and once having found the proper delivery location, will take my pizza order for tomorrow.

Good thing I did not wait until tomorrow to order.

So. You’re thinking. Why doesn’t she just get the direct number for the University Avenue Round Table Pizza location? Good question. I asked. Turns out I can’t have the direct number of the University Avenue pizza location.

So bottom line, I can’t order a pizza from a store less than two miles from my son’s school because the call center can’t find the school’s location in their data base.

I am quite sure Round Table spend millions building this automated pizza delivery call center system. And I can report that through excellent training, Round Table has burned into the brains of their call center folks NEVER to give out the phone numbers of the local Round Table restaurants. MUST KEEP COSTS DOWN. MUST AUTOMATE.

But with all due respect to the fine, well-educated, well-paid minds that conceived of this delivery system, the system inhales air. Not only did it turn me off to Round Table, said cost-saving system just cost Round Table at least an hour in personnel time having to deal with me…when the darn order transaction should have taken five minutes total.

What’s the solution? Fix the bugs in the system. A regular customer address within two miles of several Round Table locations should be in the call center data base.

But even more importantly, EMPOWER YOUR EMPLOYEES TO USE COMMON SENSE! Have exceptions to rules. If the only way to get a pizza to a customer is have them call the local Round Table pizza directly, then give the customer the darn number. Customer equals revenue and reputation and repeat business.

Common sense is one thing most human brains have—if they choose to use it—and automated systems do not.

I’ll let you know if my son’s class gets their pizza.

What is your experience with automation and common sense?

P.S. So Mr. Polite Manager never returned my call. At 9 PM I parked illegally in downtown Palo Alto, put my flashers on, ran into Round Table pizza and ordered the pizzas for my son’s school party. Thank goodness I did not get a parking ticket. And thank goodness…the pizzas arrived!